Confessions of a Jewish Community Leader on Erev Yom Kippur

Nearly two years into my role as the executive director of the Jewish Federation of Raleigh-Cary, I can say it is truly an honor to serve this community.  

While bringing my creativity and spirit to our mission of welcoming, engaging and empowering everyone in the Greater Raleigh Jewish community is what wakes me up in the morning; what keeps me up at night are the times when I have fallen short, or the organization has fallen short under my leadership, of fully living up to the values at the center of our mission.  

Prior to Raleigh, I lived in Washington, D.C., where I would attend High Holiday services at Sixth & I. Each year I found it especially moving when Rabbi Shira Stutman would read not only the traditional confessions of the Al Chet prayer, but also those anonymously submitted from community members confessing their shortcomings from the past year, confessions that spanned the gamut from mundane to very personal.  

Therefore, with Erev Yom Kippur upon us, I share here my confessions publicly as a Jewish Community Leader, with the hope that they will push me to grow and learn from my missteps in the year ahead for the sake of our community, our organization and me as an individual.  

For all the times that we shared an enthusiastic conversation about a new idea with a volunteer or staff leader, but I did not follow up in a timely fashion;  

For all the times when I took up too much space as a leader or not enough space; and for all the times when I spoke up publicly too much or not enough on behalf of the community;  

For all the times I said “I” because it was easier than fully acknowledging all the staff and volunteers that helped make something happen;   

For all those times at work or at home when I wasn’t fully present in a conversation or meeting as emails, texts, and other notifications pulled my attention away;  

And, for all the times when I have been excited to create innovative change but missed the mark of gaining buy-in from all the key stakeholders, and therefore not honoring the skills, experience, hard work, and investment of those around me and those that came before.  

For all of these, pardon me, forgive me, grant me atonement. 

And as I think about our Jewish Federation as a whole: 

For all the times that we asked our volunteers to spend time away from family or work priorities for a last-minute phone call or meeting; 

For all the times we fell short on thanking our volunteers and supporters by not doing so in a timely fashion; 

For all the times that we had to make a difficult decision without hearing from the community as fully as we could have; and for all the times that we listened to the loudest voices without checking on the still, small voices; 

For all the times that we signed a statement in support of marginalized people without doing the work of lifting up their voices or making our spaces welcoming to them; 

For all the times that we hosted a program that missed our target audience, that failed to ensure people knew about it ahead of time, that failed to live up to our values of being welcoming and inclusive for everyone; or failed to reach out to those not yet part of our community including those who will never see this post;  

For all of these, pardon us, forgive us, grant us atonement. 

Thank you for reading my confessions and partnering with the Jewish Federation and me in building a vibrant Jewish community. May New Year 5783 be a year of growth, resilience, peace and community for all of us.  

Wishing everyone a meaningful Yom Kippur,

Phil Brodsky

P.S. For more on how the Jewish tradition of atonement can be used to make amends not only on a personal level, but on an organizational, communal, societal, and national level as well, check out Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg’s new book, On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World.